Right Track Coaching Newsletter
Transform * Lead * Love
September 2006
In this issue:
From Expectation to Possibility
Possibility is different than expectation. Expectation holds
an emotional charge with an attachment to the outcome, which
may or not happen. When I come from expectation in reaching a
certain outcome, such as completing my goals for the day and it
doesn't happen, my Inner Critic can run rampant. Inner Critics
are notorious for making wrong.
Possibility holds a different energy field. It is more
forgiving. There is more room for play and letting in new
approaches. The hook to making wrong is diminished.
For example, in having a list of 10 goals today, it is possible
that all or more will get done...and it's also possible none or
some will get done.
Coming from possibility isn't to make excuses or procrastinate
in reaching an outcome; it is an opportunity to be more creative.
There is space to listen to your intuition. Expectation is
loaded with answers from the past - expecting different results
yet doing the same thing is self-defeating.
Coming from Possibility:
1. What is it you want to do, be or have by the end of 2006?
2. What assumptions are you making that keep you from possibility?
3. What do you need to change?
4. What difference would it make to you?
Tip:
Notice your feelings around the distinctions of possibility and
expectation. A good way to do this is pretend there are two
circles on the floor.
One of the circles has the word 'Possibility' inside of it,
and the other circle has the word 'Expectation'. Stand in the
circle of expectation taking with you the answer to question #1
above.
Stay here a few seconds, close your eyes if you wish,
notice how your body feels. Does it feel ready to move forward,
does it feel so-so, or is your heart beating with excitement?
Does your outcome feel likely to happen? Now move into the
circle of possibility. What do you notice in this circle with
the same inquiries?
The British neuropsychologist, Richard Gregory, wrote,
'The senses do not give us a picture of the world directly,
rather they provide evidence for the checking of hypotheses
about what lies before us.'
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Leadership comes in many forms and diversity. It has the common
ingredient of contribution, whether personally and/or
professionally. Many of us - actually most of us - say,
'Who me be a leader?' I question my leadership roles - one is
caregiver to my mother. I never thought of it as a leadership
role, I took it on as an expectation.
In writing this newsletter I took my own advice and went into
the circle of expectation of caregiver. My body felt heavy with
responsibility and duty. In the possibility circle my heart
opened up wider and I felt a sense of freedom. Freedom coming
from choice versus what is expected.
As President of Toastmasters Chapter, Speakers Forum, I see
possibilities of contribution as expansive. Expectation feels
heavy and burdensome.
Tip:
Check out your leadership roles in the circles of possibility
and expectation as explained above.
- What do you notice that is different?
- What are the possibilities of your leadership at whichever level you take on?
- What difference would it make in the world?
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teleclasses here!
For
Singles Only
In attracting a significant other, there are often expectations
that we don't even realize we are holding.
A clue is in noticing whom you are attracting
- we bring the past into our relationships. When we do this
there is no possibility of creating a relationship that evolves
into a co-active relationship built on two people creating a
relationship based on their values, hopes and dreams.
Sally was in a relationship for five years. She lived with her
significant other in what is called a mini-marriage. She
wanted children. Now 35, her childbearing years are shorter.
Her partner wasn't interested in having more children
(he was previously married).
Sally thought she could get over wanting children or he would
change his mind. It turned out she was miserable not having
children. She is in the process of becoming aware that she
has been renegotiating with herself - it is no longer
acceptable. She now knows more of what she wants in a
relationship and in her life.
Tip: Get clear on what are your non-negotiable requirements.
- What is it you want in a relationship?
- What is your part?
Clarity is a great tool. It brings in the law of attraction,
it has you be more solid in your decisions and not cling to
those that are not really fulfilling. It is less stressful.
Without clarity indecision can play havoc with our emotions,
Single and interested in relationship coaching? Then contact me at http://www.righttrackcoaching.com/contact.html
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